


from me to you

by Yukari



Series: the idol AU nobody asked for [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Idol AU, M/M, Pining, a backstory fic, awkward ouma dealing with his first love, but without knowing utapri the school setting might not make much sense, established relationship? kinda, prequel to my heart's song, still decently fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 02:30:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15133118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yukari/pseuds/Yukari
Summary: Ouma recalls the times when his idol career seemed to be over and the beginnings of a relationship with a boy who helped him realize it's only beginning.Or, Ouma and his awkward first crush.Prequel to the 'My Heart's Song' fic.





	from me to you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Galzyy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galzyy/gifts).



> Aaaah it's really been a while since I wrote anything... My motivation has been dead and college was killing it even further. I finally finished it tho, since this being a gift fic motivated me a bit in the end, hahah...  
> I hope the effect isn't that bad! 
> 
> Happy late birthday, Maha!

Ouma Kokichi was a person who, upon setting his eyes on a goal, would work towards achieving it – slowly, with a lot of planning, until he finally got there. Be it something silly, or even his career as an idol, it was always like that. As long as he found that thing even a tiny bit interesting, his childish stubbornness wouldn’t let him go of it.

It was always like that. Maybe that’s why he was so helpless when he finally stumbled upon a goal that was impossible to achieve on his own. One that needed another person to be achieved.

It was love. And it’s not like he never loved anyone before, love comes in many forms after all… but he never loved anyone like that.

And Saihara Shuuichi, the boy he loved, didn’t seem to love him back.

But that was a few years earlier, and it looked like sometimes waiting was the best plan.

Ouma reached out his hand to touch the face of the boy sleeping next to him on their shared bed. He caressed it gently, trying not to wake him up, and smiled to himself. It’s been a few months since they became a couple and sometimes he still couldn’t believe that it was real… but the warmth next to him was definitely real. It wasn’t a dream.

He kind of wanted to wake him up just to cuddle and tease him for a bit, but with their line of work sleep was very precious… and he could do it when he woke up anyway. They had lots of time, so instead of disturbing Saihara’s sleep, Ouma quietly rolled of the bed and on his knees mover cowards the pile of notebooks stored under his desks. Since he started sharing the room with his boyfriend he began trying to at least keep his things in some order, but sometimes it still wasn’t working… He grabbed the notebook on top of the file and opened it, picking a pen up from the floor at the same time.

Another not-yet finished song was waiting for him there. There was no need to hurry with it, but he just felt like working on it right now… Another love song for his loved one.

Because it was Saihara who gave the ability to write back to him, when he momentarily lost the sight of any goal he could’ve had.

***

It was always like that. Pursuing a goal until it was achieved, holding onto it until it became boring. Boredom was a thing Ouma absolutely hated. Despised. Couldn’t take.

Someone may’ve thought that an idol job would keep boredom out of his life, but there he was, bored out of his mind, with no motivation to keep on working. And it wasn’t even that long since he debuted… It’s not like he didn’t care about is fans, but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to continue doing it just for them.

Ouma thought it was only a matter of time before his agency kicked him out, and he would welcome that with open arms to be honest. Returning home didn’t sound bad.

And yet, they didn’t kick him out. They did something worse instead.

“So, on what basis should we accept an already successful young idol into a school which’s purpose is training inexperienced people so they can debut?” A middle aged man asked… Ouma? Or maybe he was asking his manager? He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t care enough to respond. He knew that this man was both the headmaster and the director of the rival agency to the one he was working for. So why, indeed…

“We’re giving you a perfect opportunity to steal him away from us,” his manager said, smiling. Maybe she really believed he wouldn’t betray them. “He’s on top of every chart right now, wouldn’t you want him on your side?”

“I believe there’s some hidden meaning here,” the man said, smiling back at her. “Is it the case that Ouma Shoukichi is slowly losing his popularity? Maybe he had already burned out as an artist?”

Oh. He forgot to mention it, but for his safety, he wasn’t using his own name. Or rather, he wa using the alternative reading for his real name.

“It’s just a temporary crisis. That’s why we want him to take a break and attend this school.”

“I have no ready to accept a child that you’ve already broken with the way you treat your idols. I would never drive people working for me into a corner like this. How can I know it’s even possible to fix him now?” The man continued talking, glancing at Ouma, who probably still looked pretty disinterested, but at the same time he didn’t like being treated like some broken toy.

That man’s name was Kirigiri Jin. Apparently his agency was known for treating their stars particularly well and giving them a lot more freedom than idols were normally given, but… who knew if that was actually the truth. Except for a few of them, Ouma didn’t interact with them much… Well, he was younger than all of them, to be honest. It seemed like someone his age wouldn’t be allowed to debut there in the first place.

“I’m not broken,” he spoke up for the first time since they entered the headmaster’s room, making sure he sounded as cheerful as it was possible. “I’m simply bored, mister! I thought it’s gonna be more fun, but looks like this job is just not enough to satisfy me. It’s totally okay if you reject my application. I’ll just leave the industry for good, gather my fans and create a secret evil organization!”

“No, I never said I’m going to reject it.”

“Huh? What?”

“Exactly what you heard. If you’re simply bored, I’ll provide you enough exciting things to do during your education here. You’re accepted,” Kirigiri said, ignoring his most likely dumbfounded expression. “But remember, you’re starting from the the basics here.”

“Hey, hey, are you sure this is what you want?” Ouma instantly recomposed himself, narrowing his eyes and lowering his voice. “I know a lot of ways in which I could make you regret this, mister.”

“I don’t think making me regret this lays in your interests. Or am I wrong?” He asked.

“Come on, Kokichi, stop behaving like a brat!” His manager put her hand on his head and ruffled his hair. He hated when she was doing it. “Of course it doesn’t. He is a bit of a problem child, but he’s going to behave himself, I promise.”

“Of couwse! I’m sowwy fow my eawwier behaviow!” Ouma said, faking a cutesy smile. For a second he was ready to run, seeing the look she have him.

“I’m going to trust him… At least for now. Considering your skills, you probably won’t have problems with the program of the S rank class, right?”

“I’m not sure, mister. To be honest, I’m not even that good at singing! All my live shows actually make use of playback!” It was a lie, obviously.

“You say pretty interesting things, Ouma Shoukichi-kun.”

“I have one more to say then.” He turned serious for a moment. “I want to attend this weird school under my real name, as someone who’s never been involved in show business before.”

“W-What?” His managed stuttered out. “It’s impossible, all of those kids surely know who you are-“

“Okay. No problem,” the headmaster said. “But it’s up to you how you decide to fool your classmates.”

“Don’t worry. My lying skills are even better than my abilities as an idol,” Ouma grinned, already forming a plan in his head.

If he really had to be dumped there to recharge batteries, he at least wanted to have some fun. And maybe disappoint some people by ruining the image of him they had on their minds.

It’s been a while since he had any fun at all after all.

***

And so, Ouma ended up in front of the school gates on the first day of the new school year, holding a bag probably too big for him. He perfectly knew what they weren’t going to let him in if he’s even a little bit late, and yet, he was standing there, instead of entering.

Probably because he was just that much of a petty little shit and wanted to do it seconds before the gates were closed.

And so he did. He couldn’t help but giggle, seeing the faces of the gatekeepers as he walked in fifteen seconds before his time was up. He was ready to walk off towards the dormitory building, but… he stopped upon hearing the voice of a girl.

“P-Please, wait! Just a second! Don’t close it yet!” She shouted, making him turn around.

Two kids, already wearing their uniforms, were running towards the gate – a blonde girl and a dark-haired boy with a hat covering half of his face. She was pretty much dragging him along.

“Unfortunately, you’re late, we can’t let you in-“

“One minute! It was one minute! Our bus was late!” The girl continued, while the boy was just trying to catch a breath. “Please, it wasn’t our fault…”

“Rules are rules, miss-“

“Hey, I think you should let them in,” Ouma spoke up, already perfectly knowing what to do, even though he didn’t have to do it. “I was waiting for them the whole time.”

The gatekeepers, the girl, and even the boy, who finally looked up for long enough to let Ouma see his face – they all looked surprised.

“You know, headmaster Kirigiri himself ordered me to wait for these two, in case they were late. They’re very important new students, you know. You’ll get in trouble if you stop them from entering.”

“What are you even talking about..?”

“If you don’t believe me, we can ask the headmaster himself, and then it’s you who’ll have to explain what you're talking about!” He exclaimed with the most innocent smile he could muster.

“Y-Yeah!” The girl finally realized what he was trying to achieve and decided to play along. “The headmaster knew there was a possibility we’d be a bit late and made him wait for us, so…”

“Whatever,” one of the gatekeepers sighed. “Get inside before we change our minds.”

The girl took her friend’s hand and pulled him along again, giving Ouma a ‘thank you’ look.

“Whoever you are, you suck at lying,” he muttered to her after they got a bit away. “I did my best, but you need two talents for a good duet.”

“I didn’t expect anyone to help us!” She replied. “Thank you though, you really saved us… I’m Akamatsu Kaede, nice to meet you.”

“Sure!” Ouma nodded cheerfully. “And your awkward friend?”

“I-I’m not awkward,” he said quietly, making his awkwardness even more obvious. “I’m Saihara Shuuichi… Also. There’s something I want to ask you.”

_Uh oh._ Ouma was already preparing himself to play dumb.

“Are you perhaps… Ouma Shoukichi? The idol? You look… and sound like him.”

“Oh my god… Saihara-kun is right! You…”

“Bzzz! False! This is not my name!” He said in a sing-song tone, and technically… he didn’t even have to lie.  “My name is Kokichi and I’m just a simple new student here!”

“For some reason… The way you said it, does not make me believe you,” Saihara stated, with a surprising confidence for someone who looked so shy.

“Are you accusing me of being a liar, Saihara-chan!? That’s so cruel!” He instantly faked tears. He had it mastered perfectly.

“N-No, I mean-“

“Because if you are, you are totally correct! I’m a liar after all!” This time he laughed, studying Saihara’s confused face. He didn’t look disappointed yet, just at loss for words… “But I didn’t lie this time! My name really is Kokichi. Ouma Kokichi.”

“You know… If this is a joke, you can stop,” Akamatsu spoke up. “We know you. We’re your fans, actually…”

_No. You don’t know me. You just think you do._

“One more word and I’m going to cry again, Akamatsu-chan,” he said, making a sad face. “Or I’ll get mad. I’m really not the person you’re taking me for and it hurts my pride to be compared to someone so famous.”

_Oops, there goes the lie._

“Same name, same face… Then who are you, if not him? A relative?” Saihara didn’t seem convinced.

“Figure it out yourself, detective Saihara. I have a hint for you though… What would be the point of someone like him to attend some second rate school for amateur idols? There’s none! Therefore I can’t be him,” he replied cheerfully. “Though one day I’m going to crush him.”

There could be some metaphorical meaning to what he just said, but he didn’t feel like coming up with one, even if only for himself.

“Besides… I wouldn’t lie to people as cute as you,” he added with a giggle, watching their faces go red. Even if he managed to temporarily fool them, his face and voice still had that much power. “See you later then!”

“W-Wait, Ouma-kun-“

“Sowwy, I don’t have time to play with you, Saihara-chan. Maybe some other time!” He waved at them and walked off as fast as he could while carrying his bag.

He wasn’t there to make friends, so there was no reason to keep them company. He would only feel like a third wheel anyway, and his cover would get busted even sooner than he planned.

***

Unfortunately for him, everyone was assigned a roommate. He was forced to share his living space with a total stranger.

Fortunately for him, said stranger wasn’t in the same class as him. Amami Rantarou was sorted into A class, so below him… No meeting during daytime, only in the evenings and in the mornings. And if he could manage his schedule well enough, he would be able to come back to the room after Amami went to sleep, and leave before he woke up. He had to maintain his image of a total mystery boy…

At least that’s what he was telling himself while changing the alarm time on Amami’s phone after he’d gone to sleep. His body was already trained to wake up when he wanted to, so avoiding his roommate wasn’t actually that hard.

But staying in the shadow the whole time would be extremely boring, and that’s now what he was there for.

“Ouma-kun!” Akamatsu yelled at him during the lunch break, smashing her hand against the desk he was sitting by. It’s been about three weeks since school had started and Ouma already learned that she didn’t like it when people were fooling around… and that she was really a fan of his, though after she managed to convince herself it wasn’t him, manipulating her became a lot harder.

“What is it, Akamatsu-chan?” He gave her a bright grin, at the same time looking around to see who was present to witness the scene.

From the people whose names he deemed worth of remembering there were Angie, Iruma, Shinguuji, Toujou, Shirogane, Harukawa… he couldn’t see Chabashira anywhere and a sudden wave of relief hit him. As long as she weren’t there, he was safe.

“You dare to ask me what is it?” She looked pretty angry, angrier than he expected, but it was fine. “Yukizome-san asked you to collect our assignments and bring it to her, right?”

“Right!”

“Then what is this?” Akamatsu dropped a folder onto his desk. Ouma perfectly knew what was inside – the fake homework he switched with the right one.

“Huh? I have no idea!” He still feigned ignorance, opening the folder. “Someone must’ve switched it after I handed it to Yukizome-san!”

“Stop lying, I can recognize your handwriting!”

“Oh, you got me there. You’re right, it was me! I wanted to buy myself some time, since I haven’t finished my lyrics yet,” Ouma stated cheerfully, and it was actually the truth this time…

But it wasn’t something he was happy about, so he hid it behind a prank… The reason why he was there at all. Basically, he was unable to write anything decent. He himself knew that something was wrong… with him, but what? He couldn’t tell, but everything he wrote seemed forced, and it annoyed him to no end.

But it was easier to just pretend he was lazy.

“Just do your work and stop messing around!” Akamatsu said with a frown. “How did you even get placed in class S…? Is it because you’re so similar to Ouma Shoukichi and they believed you’ll be the same?”

Time for another strategy. He looked down, faking tears once again.

“Stop comparing me to him, Akamatsu-chan. It’s always Kokichi this, Kokichi that… What does he have that I don’t? It sucks to always be worse than your sibling, you know? Even though I’m trying so hard!” He exclaimed, making sure his acting was perfect. “You’re not even giving me a chance!’

Just as planned, Akamatsu looked surprised, but the regret was also visible on her face. She really felt bad for making him cry. Funny.

“C-Come on, Ouma-kun… I’m sorry? I didn’t know he’s your brother… and I didn’t mean it like that…” She attempted to calm him down, unaware of his lie.

“What’s happening here…?”

They both turned in the direction of the person who said that and Ouma recognized Akamatsu’s friend, Saihara and his own roommate, Amami. It was definitely the former who spoke up though.

“Saihara-chan!” Ouma shouted, jumping off his chair and running to hide behind him. “Your girlfriend is bullying me!”

“Akamatsu-san is not my g-girlfriend…”

“I’m not bullying him!” She interrupted him. “I might’ve said one thing wrong, but…”

“He’s probably just teasing you, Akamatsu-san,” Amami commented, then… reached out and patted his head. Ouma immediately moved away, dragging Saihara with him. “Oops, sorry…”

“Even Amami-chan is against me… You’re the only one I can count on, Saihara-chan.”

“W-Why me!?” The confusion in his voice was clear, just like the answer.

“Because you’re the most fun to tease!”

The truth was that he grew a bit fond of the shy boy in the meantime. He was smarter than he looked, and his reactions were usually more extreme… so he was simply fun to be around.

“If it goes on… I’m going to lose my mind pretty soon,” Akamatsu sighed.

“He’s not that bad,” Amami said. “Though I wish he’d clean his side of the room more often… Anyway, we didn’t come here without a reason. At least me.”

Ouma didn’t feel like listening to the reason Amami had for talking with his classmate. Instead, he let go of Saihara and directed his steps towards the door. He didn’t expect anyone to follow him outside…

“H-Hey, Ouma-kun, wait!”

…but apparently he was wrong.

“Ah, Saihara-chan? Have I still not entertained you enough? What should I do next then?” He asked, turning around. “Or maybe it’s not about me?”

“Huh?”

“You overheard what I was talking about to Akamatsu-chan, right? And now you wanted to ask me about my brother, since you’re his fan.” Ouma smiled. That was most likely it, there was no other reason for Saihara to chase him…

“Not really.” That was the answer he got, and it was his turn to be surprised.

“H-huh?”

“I-I mean, I am his fan,” Saihara said, his hand going to his hat as if he wanted to use it to cover his face. “I definitely am… Maybe even a bit too dedicated at times. It may sound stupid, b-but he was my inspiration to take up composing…”

It was strange, to hear it like that. But at the same time Saihara probably only told him about it because he wasn’t aware of his real identity… at least not yet.

It was strange, but it was a somewhat happy feeling, that he was able to inspire someone. Only somewhat though… because now, that all his motivation was lost, he felt even more useless.

“B-B ut I didn’t follow you to talk about him,” Saihara continued. “If you’re really not the same person…”

_Ah. So he still doubts me. Good._

“…t-then you’re the person I want to know better, Ouma-kun.”

“Why?”

“Huh?”

“All I’m doing is driving your best friend mad. Why would you want to know me better?” He asked seriously. He wasn’t there to be making friends, and Saihara would have to turn out to be really special for Ouma to make an exception.

“Ehm… I guess it’s because… it’s interesting, I think,” Saihara said, instantly becoming even more embarrassed. “Sorry, this probably didn’t sound good…”

_Interesting._ The opposite of boring, the opposite of what his life had been lately. It looked like Saihara was really ready to trust his doubts about Ouma’s lies, and maybe even try to uncover the truth. Maybe his only goal in trying to get close to Ouma was actually unraveling his lies, and there was nothing more to that.

But that alone seemed fun.

“Sorry, Saihara-chan, but I don’t find you interesting at all,” Ouma replied with a giggle, wondering whether Saihara would spot the lie.

The other boy’s eyes went wide for a moment, then he lowered his gaze to the ground, pulling his hat a bit lower... as if Ouma’s words hurt him. It lasted only a moment though. A few seconds later he looked at Ouma again, maybe not completely certain about what he was doing, but also not scared.

“I think it’s not true,” he said. “You called me ‘fun to tease’ after all.”

“Ooops, got me here, Saihara-chan! You know, maybe I actually like you a little bit. But I’m not that easy to be won over.”

“H-Huh?”

“If you wanna hit on me, you have to try harder!”

“W-What!? I wasn’t trying to-“

“Bye, Saihara-chan! Let us meet again…” Ouma continued to talk as he was already getting away and yelling over his shoulder. “…someday!”

“W-We literally go to the same school!”

He knew that, of course, but messing with him really was fun. He had to stop himself from laughing while running straight to his room, without even going back to the classroom to collect his things. He’d get them later… going back and having to deal with the consequences of his prank seemed definitely less fun than spending time with Saihara.

***

No matter how hard he tried to avoid Amami, sometimes it was just impossible to not spend time in his company at all. He honestly wasn’t that bad though, a pretty generic but nice guy. Someone like that was probably more fit for an idol group than solo career…

“You still have problems with that assignment, Ouma-kun?” Amami asked glancing at him from his half of the room.

“Nope! I finished it a long time ago!” Ouma replied. He was laying on his stomach on the bed and actually trying to do that stupid homework, but the right words just refused to come to his mind.

“I see. Then if you’re not busy, maybe clean the mess on the floor?”

“Hmmm… nope!” He muttered, not even looking at Amami. “I’m busy planning how to take over the idol industry by assassinating my brother and taking his place without anyone noticing!”

“Taking your personality into account, I think they would notice…”

It was so hard not to start laughing, really.

“Saihara-kun was asking about you,” Amami said suddenly, forcing him to stop swinging his legs in the air.

“Why would he?”

“Because we’re classmates?” His roommate laughed nervously, hearing the tone of his voice. “He wanted to know what you’re like.”

“And what did you tell him?”

“That I have no idea,” he admitted. “You never tell me anything, you rarely even spend time in this room… aside from the fact that you always scatter your things around, I barely know anything about you.”

“I like having my nails done properly but I don’t have the time for this at this stupid school,” Ouma replied cheerfully.

“Then I can do this for you,” he offered, not getting the sarcasm. “I have some experience, I practiced on my younger sisters.”

Ouma felt that if he said ‘no’ now, it would be plainly cruel, so he just sighed. “Maybe some other time.”

“About your homework… Just write about whatever makes you happy,” Amami said, as if an advice like that really could work. He couldn’t write a song about Yu-Gi-Oh, right? It was impossible. There was no way he wouldn’t fail.

For a split second an image of Saihara’s face came to his mind. His memory replayed the scene with him accusing his great self of lying and then telling him he’s interesting on its own, and for a moment he felt like he was close to actually catching a lyrics idea by the tail, but…

Ouma ended up smashing his face against the notebook he was holding, realizing how idiotic his thoughts were.

“H-Hey, what are you doing?!” Amami asked with concern in his voice, so he just laughed.

“Going mad, probably!”

“That doesn’t really answer the question…”

To think he thought he could have a crush on someone he met about three weeks earlier… no way. Saihara wasn’t even that interesting of a person…

He just smashed his face against the notebook again.

“O-Ouma-kun?!

***

That Yukizome woman extended his deadline by a few days, but it didn’t mean he could fool around forever. Also, going mad wasn’t his specialty. His specialty was driving other people mad, so he had to get back in form.

It was already late enough to suspect that Amami went to sleep, but he didn’t feel like going back to the room. His homework was still unfinished and in a rather pathetic state, but he had to finish it before going to sleep…

The place he chose as his hideout was a rather peaceful one, especially in the middle of the night. The school grounds were huge and they even had a private lake, so Ouma decided to occupy the pier between the trees. From the distance it was hard to notice that anyone was even there, what was the aim of hiding of course.

“Following your dreams… being true to yourself…” He muttered to himself, trying to think of any ‘typically idol’ lyrics. After a second he crossed out what he already wrote. “What a bullshit. It doesn’t sound genuine at all.”

At least not right now. He had a bunch of such cutely-positive songs from when he was younger, and back then it seemed a lot easier to sing them without wanting to just stop and leave.

Maybe he wasn’t made to be an idol after all. It was fun while it lasted. While staring at the almost empty page, an old melody appeared in his head. One of his first songs.

_Follow me, take my hand and let me lead the way_

_Let’s have some fun, just you and I!_

_Hey, are you listening? I’m singing for you_

_So let my voice reach you_

There wasn’t even anyone he wrote it for. It sounded so fake… almost as fake as all his lies.

He was so absorbed by his thoughts that he didn’t hear anyone approach him until that person was very close and made a board creak under his feet.

“I-I’m sorry!” He heard a familiar voice as he instantly turned around. “I-I didn’t mean to spy on you, I just didn’t know how to approach you, and then…”

“…”

“…”

“Oooh, Saihara-chan cornered me here, alone, in the middle of the night! I wonder what he’s planning to do to me!” Ouma decided to play the ‘attract his attention to something else’ card.

“I-I’m not planning on doing anything to you, Ouma-kun!” Just as expected, Saihara protested right away. “It’s just… I couldn’t sleep and went for a walk, and I ended up here…”

“So it’s just a coincidence and you weren’t planning anything? Tch, boring,” he muttered. “Or maybe it’s fate then? What do you think, Saihara-chan? Maybe we’re destined for each other, nishishi!”

“Ouma-kun… I heard. I mean, I heard you singing that song.”

“Oh. So you didn’t take the bait after all,” he replied, feeling the smile fade from his face.

“Sorry. I heard it both now and many times before,” Saihara said, really sounding a bit apologetic. “I kind of tried to play along, but… you can’t fool me anymore.”

“You sound as if you never really believed me in the first place,” he snorted.

“It’s possible that I didn’t. I listened to your voice too much not to recognize it. So, you really are…”

“Ouma Kokichi. My name is Ouma Kokichi, and that’s the truth. Even my student ID says so.”

“Then…” Saihara brought his hand to his chin. “It’s probably your real name, and the one I knew before was a pseudonym.”

Shit. He figured him out just like that. Well, it’s not like it was some well thought lie, and his pseudonym was literally a different reading of his actual name. It wasn’t that unexpected that someone figured it out so quickly. And yet…

“Eeeh, Saihara-chan, you think you’re so smart?” He said, standing up from the ground and slowly approaching the other boy until they were so close that if Ouma was just a little taller he would be able to whisper into his hear. “I’ll tell you one thing, you’re not.”

The tone he used must’ve worked, since Saihara looked like he really wanted to retreat.

“I didn’t even try on this one, and yet everyone believed me… It just means everyone else is stupid, not that you’re a genius,” he continued quietly. “I guess they just didn’t want to accept that I’m really me. You’re probably the same, right? You don’t like what I’m really like, an annoying and unlikeable liar!”

“I… I can’t say that you’re w-what I expected you to be. But it’s only my fault for assuming.”

“Assuming that I was cooler than I actually am?”

“Assuming that you’re happy with what your life looks like.”

Saihara’s voice turned into a whisper when he said that last sentence, as if he was ashamed of letting himself say that much. Ouma in turn…

…went completely quiet.

At least for a moment.

“Bold of you to assume things again, Saihara-chan,” he nearly hissed. “You know, I really like you, but now that you know my secret, I might have to get rid of you.”

“W-what?!”

“You know, like, silence you forever. No one will ever find the body. No one will ever realize you disappeared because I’ll replace you with a look-alike,” Ouma said with a sinister grin. “It’s the punishment for sticking your nose into my business.”

“B-But weren’t you the one who actually wanted that mystery to get solved?!”

“Who told you that, Saihara-chan? You’re just trying to save yourself right now!”

“I k-know you’re probably joking, but… I won’t tell anyone? And m-maybe…I can do something to compensate you for this…” Saihara stuttered out. “Maybe I can help you with that assignment…”

He was cute. Anyone else probably wouldn’t care about keeping Ouma’s secret safe, yet alone about his struggles with writing or mood in general. But Saihara apparently did.

“That’s really nice of you, but won’t help you with escaping your punishment!” Ouma exclaimed, but his own face betrayed him as he smiled involuntarily. “But I might postpone it for a bit.”

“T-Then… does it mean you forgive me?”

“Yep! Now we’re partners in crime!”

“What crime?!”

“Identity fraud!”

“It’s not an identity fraud, you’re just yourself while pretending you’re not!”

“Details!” Ouma laughed, and… he felt as if something suddenly changed.

He just let somebody into his stupid prank and accepted that person’s offer to help him. After all the thinking that he wasn’t going to do that, he let himself get tricked so easily, by one boy, smiling shyly at him.

“Hey, Saihara-chan. Are you still my fan or have I ruined my reputation already?” He asked, half joking, half being serious.

“Well, you don’t exactly seem like the person I spent so much time admiring…” Saihara muttered in response. “But it doesn’t change the fact that it’s still you, so I guess I still am.”

“Why do you sound so hesitant about it? What, don’t tell me you’re going to throw all my merch away!”

“N-No! W-What I’m getting at is… I would like to become your friend instead?” He explained shyly, and Ouma honestly wasn’t sure if he wasn’t blushing right now. Thank god it was dark outside.

“What a bold confession, Saihara-chan, but you’re moving so fast… I’m not ready for long term relationships yet.”

He himself was wondering why his heart was beating so fast though.

“It’s not like t-that! Can we have at least one serious conversation?”

“That would be boring. Anyway, you promised to help me with this stupid assignment, so you better keep that promise,” Ouma giggled. “Or else I will…”

“F-Fine, I will help you, just stop threatening me!”

If earlier he wasn’t sure, now he just knew.

He really had a crush on Saihara Shuuichi, and it probably wasn’t going to end well.

***

Saihara was a composer, not lyricist, that much was evident… but despite that, his advice was helpful and Ouma somehow completed his homework.

Not only completed, it ended up being the first thing he got praised for since the beginning of the school year. Unbelievable.

While his grades overall didn’t get much better and he still didn’t feel attached to the idea of being a student, his life there seemed to become a little more tolerable.

Only a little though. And some more annoying things joined the ones that were making it miserable.

“Oi, what are you doing here again?” Momota, a classmate of Saihara, asked him during the lunch break.

“Me? Silly Momota-chan, I’m hanging out with my beloved Saihara-chan! If you have any problems with that, just go and join Harumaki-chan for lunch.”

“Why should I? This is my classroom, you poor excuse of an idol!”

“Watch your mouth, idiot Momota-chan, unlike you, I’m quite popular.”

_Or my fake persona is._

“You two, please stop arguing…” Saihara spoke up, clearly getting tired of that happening all the time. Because as much as Ouma liked him…

…he absolutely couldn’t stand his friend and roommate, Momota Kaito. It’s not that he was jealous. He just disliked that loud, stupid and stubborn guy.

And maybe kind of wished to take his place by Saihara’s side, but being in different groups wasn’t helping. His crush on him wasn’t making things easier either, as his stupid brain was constantly offering him some dumb pick up lines…

“Sorry, Saihara-chan, I’m not doing it on purpose. Momota-chan’s ugly face is just distracting me,” Ouma said. “It would be soooo much better if it was just you and me. What do you think?”

…and Momota evidently didn’t like that.

“What’s wrong with this kid…” He muttered and looked at Saihara, as if expecting that he would tell him… but Saihara simply shrugged. “I’m out. I don’t feel like dealing with him.”

“Everything according to plan.” Ouma grinned as he watched Momota leave the classroom. “How can you even spend time with him, Saihara-chan? He’s sooo annoying!”

“Looking at the friends I made at this school so far, I think it’s not that surprising…” Saihara sighed in response. He didn’t say that, but Ouma was sure he was thinking about him when he said that. As if Ouma didn’t know he wasn’t easy to deal with.

“Anyway, Momota-chan isn’t a very interesting topic to talk about. You look like you’re worried about something.”

“You could tell?” Saihara gave him a surprised look, earning a giggle.

“Of course I could. I liar can spot when someone is hiding something. You’re almost transparent to me. So, what is that?”

“Nothing important…”

“Come on, Saihara-chan, we’re partners in crime. I won’t forgive you if you go to Akamatsu-chan with this and ignore me.”

“It would be perfectly reasonable to go to Akamatsu-san with this,” he replied, frowning. “It’s… about my piano skills, and she’s the genius pianist here.”

“I’m a pretty good pianist too, you know? If you want to practive-“

“I would prefer to ask Akamatsu-san for help in this case,” Saihara said firmly, but quickly added an apology. “Sorry, Ouma-kun…”

“Huh. Of course you’d prefer your old friend to teach you. Wouldn’t it be embarrassing if you made mistakes in front of someone as great as me?” That’s what he said, but in fact he was a little hurt. The one time he tried to offer someone his help, he got rejected.

Maybe that’s what he got for never doing it before.

“You know what, maybe I’ll go after all. I don’t wanna risk running into Momota-chan again, and Yumeno-chan seems to be glaring at me from time to time. See you later, Saihara-chan!”

“W-Wait, Ouma-kun!”

He didn’t wait. He waved at him at the door and left, because he had no idea how to deal with himself, his stupid crush and the fact that it was unrequited.

***

Some time had passed, and Ouma still struggled to be at least an average student. His pride wouldn’t take it if he ended up at the bottom of the class… but he never tried to ask Saihara for help again. He would probably agree, but it seemed unfair if he couldn’t pay him back. Besides, he wasn’t much of a teamwork person.

And that last fact was just about to make his life even harder.

“A group project?” Chabashira repeated the words of their teacher. “But… how are we supposed to choose the groups, Yukizome-san?”

“I already chose the groups for you!” She exclaimed cheerfully. “Since we have less composers than future idols, we’re going to have three people per group, two idols and a composer! I’ll read them now.”

Ouma was doing his best not to show his real feelings, but to be honest, he really wanted to tell her what a stupid idea it was.

Well, the moment when they kick him out had to finally come. And when he thought it couldn’t get any worse…

“The last group will be Akamatsu-san, Hoshi-kun and Ouma-kun.”

…that happened.

“Excellent. I couldn’t ask for a better group,” he said through his teeth, forcing a smile. “That was a lie, of course, nishishi.”

“Believe me, teaming up with you doesn’t sound good to me either,” Hoshi replied. “But at least don’t cause trouble for Akamatsu.”

Ouma glanced at the girl, who was just staring at her desk and probably trying to tell herself it’s going to be okay. He didn’t particularly dislike her. They weren’t getting along, but she could be fun sometimes. And…

She was Saihara’s best friend. If he caused her problems on purpose, he could probably say goodbye to any possible relationship with him…

And he didn’t want that.

“Sure. Just don’t expect too much from me. You know my level,” he stated in the end.

“Or the level of your laziness,” Akamatsu muttered.

“Huh?”

“You’re a good singer and dancer. And that one song fragment from some time ago was really good. You just never put your heart in anything you do,” she continued. “When it comes to writing lyrics you’re nearly free to do whatever you want, but you never make any use of that and everything turns out flat. Are you really that boring of a person? There must be something you’re passionate about!”

_Yeah, your best friend,_ he thought, but said nothing. Writing songs about unrequited love was the lamest thing he could do, even if it probably would carry some feelings.

“Even if there’s not, I’m going to make you regret calling me boring.”

Was he though? He wasn’t so sure anymore.

***

Fast-forward, Ouma was still living the worst year of his life.

 

_“You finished the project on time, but given the amount of work you put into it, it can’t be considered yours as well,” Yukizome stated after calling him to her office. “You did the bare minimum and then signed the finished thing with your name.”_

_“Well, they said it’s fine, so what’s the problem?”_

_“This is not what we expect from you. Your performance so far isn’t satisfactory.”_

_“Are you kicking me out then? Finally! I was-“_

_“No, we’re not, Ouma-kun, but I talked with the headmaster and… We decided to transfer you to class A instead. We don’t know if it’ll help you with anything, but it’s worth giving a try,” she explained. “Maybe we really expected too much from you…”_

_“Huh? So I’m staying? Boring…” He sighed. “There goes my pride. You know, Yukizome-san, it’s been a few months and nothing really changed. Is there any point in keeping me here? I have nothing against ending my career. I simply got bored of all this nonsense.”_

_“Letting you just leave would be a waste of a wonderful talent, Ouma-kun,” she said, her face softening. “You know well what your problem is, right? It’s not about your skills, it’s about the heart.”_

_“I doubt I can find it at school.”_

_“School is a great place for making friendships…”_

_“Do I look like someone who made any?”_

_“I often see you with Saihara Shuuichi. I thought he’s your friend.”_

_Ouma didn’t say anything to that. He didn’t want to lie about Saihara, no matter to whom._

_But… She had a point. If he left, he would probably never see Saihara again. It was his first love and he wasn’t ready to make a sacrifice like that._

_“Fine. Do whatever you want.”_

That’s how, in short, he got kicked down to a less advanced class. He, the super popular idol, Ouma Kokichi, was deemed not enough to stay at the top. He wasn’t even surprised though. He didn’t want to be there in the first place. Not anymore.

It was hard to recall times when he legitimately enjoyed his job, but… it really was like that some time ago. He still appreciated his fans, but at some point he enjoyed talking to them, taking photos… He really felt like he could do anything.

It would be a lie to say it wouldn’t be nice to get that back.

“I heard you, Saihara-chan, stop trying to sneak up on me or I’ll call the police,” he said quietly, but it still sounded horribly loud in the silence of the night. He didn’t even have to turn around to see it was Saihara, only he would come looking for him in that place. The one where he figured out his long term joke.

“After all the threats I received from you I think it’s me who has the right to call the police.”

“Would you really call the cops on me?!” Ouma summoned his fake crocodile tears and looked over his shoulder.

“I wouldn’t, that’s why you shouldn’t either,” he sighed. “I heard about what happened, Ouma-kun.”

“Oh, so you’re here to divorce me for being a shitty teammate to Akamatsu-chan? How mean!”

“I-I’m not! I just… Akamatsu-san isn’t mad at you, you know. She said she thinks you were really trying, but it just didn’t come easily for you… So it’s not like anyone blames you for anything.”

“Great! Not like I actually needed to know that, I’m perfectly fine.”

Saihara walked closer and sat down on the pier next to him. “I think you might be not.”

“What a bold assumption.”

“We never really talked seriously about why you’re here in the first place, but… I suspect it’s an artist’s block. That would make perfect sense, when I think about how you always struggle with creating…” He said. “I don’t t-think it’s anything to be ashamed of… but at the same time it would be a shame if it stayed like that.”

“Too bad, the end of my career is approaching quickly! I better end it while my star is still shining brightly, so I’ll stay a legend-“

“If I can… I want to help somehow.”

“That’s now how it’s supposed to go!” He really wanted to smash his face against his notebook right now. “You were supposed to accept this, not make me want to write a song about how…

_How much I love you._

 …dumb you are!”

“If it helps, then I guess I can accept that…”

“What the hell, Saihara-chan. What the actual fuck.”

“Sometimes I really have no idea what your words mean, Ouma-kun,” Saihara muttered to that. “But we’re going to be classmates from now on, so I thought… w-we could try doing something for fun, not as a school assignment.”

“Sure.”

“I didn’t expect you to agree so easily.”

“No risk, no fun! But to be honest-“

“You? Honest?”

“How mean, even I’m honest sometimes! Time to start recognizing when, Saihara-chan. Anyway! I wanted to say that… with you, I don’t really feel like I’m risking anything.”

That was the limit of how much he could confess, but it was enough for now. In moments like that he could actually feel like falling in love with Saihara was a good thing.

“What do you even mean by that…?”

“That you’re still my partner in crime! No matter what I do, even if it’s a shitty song, you’ll have my back, nishishi!”

“Something is telling me that I’m going to regret it…” Saihara said, but he couldn’t hide his smile. “But I hope we can create something good together.”

“I’ve got this! Let’s make a song about a secret organization of assassins! I have connections with a few of them, so I can do research!”

“That’s a lie.”

“See, you’re already learning, Saihara-chan!”

He didn’t even notice when he moved close enough that their shoulders were touching, but neither of them moved away.

***

Ouma never tried to get transferred back to the S class. He didn’t particularly miss Chabashira or Harukawa… well, he could feel the lack of Iruma and Angie’s presence sometimes, but this way he didn’t have to compete against anyone to be the biggest weirdo.

And Saihara was there.

“Won’t Momota-chan get worried if he notices you’re gone?”

“He sleeps like a log, so I doubt he’ll even wake up. What about Amami-kun?”

“I don’t think he ever saw me sleeping, nishishi. I don’t let random people see me in such a vulnerable position.”

He was kind of waiting for Saihara to comment on how he fell asleep on his shoulder when they went for a walk and sat down on a bench to rest for a moment, but the thankfully the comment didn’t come.

“Hmm… What do you think about it then, Ouma-kun?” Saihara asked him, playing some melody on the school piano. Ouma still couldn’t believe he managed to convince him to sneak into the classroom in the middle of the night… but it was the only time they could be there alone.

“Not bad, Saihara-chan!” Ouma replied. “Though I think we’re still missing something…”

“I don’t know… maybe lyrics?”

“I’m working on that!”

And he really was. It’s been a while since he took anything seriously, but right now he actually felt like putting some effort into it, despite it supposedly being a thing ‘just for fun’.

“But it’s not what I was talking about, nishishi.” Ouma jumped of his chair and walked up to the piano, then forced Saihara to move and make place for him too. “Come on, the bench is wide enough, Saihara-chan.”

“W-What are you planning, Ouma-kun?”

“Nothing! Play that melody again, I want to hear it. We don’t have the whole night!”

With a sigh, Saihara began playing again, but this time Ouma joined him, instantly distracting him from the piano and making him stop.

“What are you stopping for, Saihara-chan? I wanted to recreate that scene from Evangelion!”

“F-From what?”

“Damn, your weaboo level is too low… Anyway, it’s something like this, right?” He asked, trying to play Saihara’s melody from memory. He probably made a lot of mistakes, but it was more or less that… and then he added something from himself at the end. “What about… this?”

“This… really sounds good, I think,” Saihara said, already reaching for the music sheets. “Do it again, Ouma-kun.”

“Understood, captain!” He saluted to him and began playing again, this time slower and more carefully, looking at the sheets. And… the words came to him on their own. “ _And just like that, we play hide and seek… And keep running, when we really want to be found… But I won’t say the truth, I can’t… Not yet, please, wait…”_

“Did you just… come up with it right now?”

“Of course not, I don’t bullshit my songs like that!”

“So you did,” Saihara concluded, looking at him as if something incredible just happened. “I think it was a really good start and you could work on that.”

_So it all really comes down to writing songs about you, huh,_ Ouma thought, watching Saihara write something down on the music sheet. He also wondered what was the strange feeling he got when singing just a moment earlier. It was weirdly familiar.

“Oh,” he uttered quietly, reaching for the piano once again. “ _But it’s alright, it’s fine for now, because even if I hide, you’ll know where to look for me… So let’s keep playing until we’re done, until we learn everything we can…”_

“Holy shit,” Saihara said under his breath, then ran his fingers over the keyboard. “Wait, wouldn’t it could better if we changed this… to this?”

“Just like expected from Saihara-chan! With you, I could conquer the idol industry all over again!”

For a moment Saihara just looked at him, as if considering something, but then went back to writing on the music sheet.

“I think… we make a pretty good team,” he said. “But…”

“But what?”

“Nothing, sorry.”

That one time Ouma couldn’t tell what was worrying Saihara, but… it’s not like he learned everything about him yet.

***

Time was passing, and Ouma could easily notice that Saihara was rather popular. For a supposedly shy kid like him, he was really well-liked and people enjoyed working with him. While Akamatsu was most likely the most wanted composer in their year, but Saihara was close to that, and as the time of finding pairs for their final project was approaching, even more people were sticking around.

Of course Ouma wanted to ask him to be his partner, that much was a given. He never befriended anyone else that could take that role, and… he didn’t even want that.

But at the same time he knew he’d have to compete against Momota, Amami and probably some other people… and he wasn’t sure he could win, because while to him Saihara was the most important person… it definitely wasn’t mutual. To him, Ouma was just one of his friends.

He knew that he probably should ask first and worry later but despite everything, he still had his pride.

“Ah, isn’t that Kokichi!” Someone called out to him, and before he even got to turn around, a while-haired girl popped up in front of him. “Angie haven’t been seeing Kokichi much lately, it’s nice to run into him like this!”

“Angie-chan!” He instinctively raised his hand to give her a high five, and she responded in the same way. “We literally go to the same school, it’s not that unusual to see each other!”

“Kokichi is right! But usually when Angie sees him, he’s with Shuuichi, and Angie doesn’t want to disrupt!” She exclaimed. “It’s been really quiet in our class since Kokichi got transferred, it’s almost sad. Tenko is loud, but not loud enough!”

“I didn’t know you like chaos so much, Angie-chan! Glad to know at least one person misses me.”

“To an artist it’s not ‘chaos’, it’s ‘artistic mess’, Kokichi,” Angie laughed.”Yeah, that’s it, but Angie can see Kokichi is much happier by his beloved’s side!”

“Nishishi, silly Angie-chan, what are you talking about?” He replied, without even stuttering. An immediate reaction to a joke like that was the most believable.

“You can’t fool Angie, the messenger of God! She can see the truth no matter how hard you try to hide it. But don’t worry, your secret is safe with her. She won’t tell anyone.”

“There’s nothing to tell anyone about,” he said, realizing he started sweating. “Me and Saihara-chan…”

“You what?” Her blue eyes looked as if they were seeing right through his soul. “You’re just friends, right? But don’t you want more?”

“…that’s nothing I have to tell you about.”

“You’re right! Haha, sorry. But I hope you’re at least partners for the final project! Himiko has been telling me that whenever you two do something together, it’s always divine art, so if Kokichi hasn’t asked Shuuichi yet, he should totally do it!

“Of course! There’s no one else who can use my talent so well!” Ouma replied without thinking, a moment later realizing that now he most likely had to ask Saihara about teaming up with him no matter what.

“Great! Tell Angie later how it went!”

She waved at him while running off in the opposite direction than the one he was going in, leaving him with a frustrating feeling that he just made another mistake.

***

And yet, he was doing that. Perfectly emotionally prepared to be rejected for Momota’s sake and still be salty about it later. Because what sane person would choose Momota over him? Okay, probably most people, considering the fact that he was popular between their classmates and Ouma was not, but still.

When he finally decided to do that, he couldn’t find Saihara at first, but since he was stubborn, he didn’t stop at checking one place. Once he decided to do something there was no force that could stop him.

Finally, he ended up in front of the door to the room where he and Saihara would usually meet at nights. He was about to open the door when he heard someone talking. He wasn’t one to spy on people when it wasn’t necessary, but something was telling him to listen.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about, Saihara-kun?”

“Ehm, it’s about… the final project?”

“The final project? Sorry to disappoint you, but you can’t be my partner. We’re both on the composer side, remember?”

“Of course I remember, Akamatsu-san… What I wanted to ask about is more like… How should I decide who I should choose?” There was something like concern in his voice, and Ouma could feel himself becoming nervous.

“Huh? I was sure you’d choose Momota-kun or Amami-kun,” Akamatsu said. “Aren’t they easiest to work with?”

“They may be, but… I’m not really sure,” Saihara replied hesitantly. “I’ve been thinking… about someone else. Besides, didn’t Amami-kun also ask you?”

“He did, and while I appreciate the offer… There’s something else on my mind,” Akamatsu stated. “A lot of girls also asked me to be their partners. My roommate, Harukawa-san… but also Iruma-san, Toujou-san, Shirogane-san… and a few others. And though I’m tempted to just choose one of them and turn her into a star, I want to try something else first.”

“W-What is that?”

“I want to create a girls idol group!” She exclaimed cheerfully. “A few cute girls are always better than just one, think about it! It may sound like I’m greedy, but I don’t want to reject any of them. Everyone has her own charm, and I’d feel like I let go of an amazing chance… So I wanted to try asking them to create a group first.”

“Do the rules even allow that?” Saihara asked.

“I don’t know, but if they don’t, I’ll force them to change it, and I’m sure I’ll have Chabashira-san on my side,” Akamatsu laughed. “What do you think, Saihara-kun? Want to try it too?”

“Huh?”

“If you don’t want to choose between them, choose all of them. You could make a boys group, that’s almost a certain success! Though… that would require a lot of effort from you.”

“I realize… It does sound kind of scary,” he laughed half-heartedly. “Some of them are difficult to handle on their own, putting them together seems even worse.”

“But I can already see you’re willing to consider it,” she pointed out. “I can’t even imagine you from a while ago thinking about starting an idol group and then looking after it. What happened?”

“Nothing happened, Akamatsu-san…”

“Let me rephrase it then. What are you doing this for? Who is so special that you can’t let go of them?”

Silence. Behind the door Ouma was ready to believe that they realized someone was eavesdropping and were just about to open it and get mad at him, but he could always make up some lie if that happened, so he didn’t move.

“I haven’t asked him yet, to be honest,” Saihara said after a while. “He has some… special circumstances to him, so I’m not even sure if he needs his final project to succeed. And while working with Momota-kun is probably easier… I don’t want to leave him alone. It seems like he’s been alone for long enough.”

“Let me guess… You’re talking about Ouma-kun?”

Ouma really wished he had his lyrics notebook with him just so he could smash it against his face.

“Is it that obvious…?”

“Well, you spend an awful amount of time with him, considering the fact that most people find him insufferable,” she laughed. “I’m not going to tell you you’re making a mistake, because who knows, maybe you’re not, and he’s really worth putting your trust in him. Besides, I don’t know him, and I don’t know what those special circumstances are… It’s all up to you, Saihara-kun. Just know that if your group succeeds, we’re going to become rivals!”

“I’m not sure yet if I’m going to form a group. We don’t even know if it’s allowed.”

“Leave it to me and Chabashira-san, it’s going to be,” she ensured him. “But I’m surprised you actually befriended him. You were never a person who likes problems.”

“I don’t consider him a problem. I just think… he needs someone willing to try to understand him and keep him company in order to truly shine as an idol, you know?”

“I know that much. I’m his fan too, Saihara-kun. But I’m not brave enough to stick my nose into his business, and you were.”

“So you didn’t believe him either?”

“For a moment, I did. But it wasn’t long.”

Aaah. So his lie got busted a long time ago. At least between the smarter people, Momota probably still believed he had a twin brother named Shoukichi…

But that wasn’t the important thing. The important thing was that he suddenly found himself running at full speed, as far away from that place as he could, because all the new information was too much for him to handle.

What the hell was that even? They wanted to convince him to join some stupid band? They thought he was lonely? What a nonsense! They…

…were totally right. But at the same time, it just didn’t seem like a good idea. He was terrible at teamwork, especially when he wasn’t the leader. It wouldn’t only be terrible for him, but also for Saihara, and whoever else would be in that band.

But…  a part of him wanted to try.

Because it looked like he became much more special to Saihara than he expected.

***

“A group?” Amami repeated in surprise when Saihara gathered them all in one classroom. Ouma, Amami, Momota, Gonta, Shinguuji and Hoshi. What a mess.

“As expected of Saihara-chan! He always surprised me with something!” He faked being surprised too, sitting on a desk and swinging his legs. “Are you sure it’s a good idea though? Some people seem to be glaring at me!”

“Of course we are,” Momota spoke up. “I have nothing against being in a group, it sound fun, but a group with you in it?”

“Personally, I am interested in your idea, Saihara-kun,” Shinguuji said. “Even if it turns out to be just an experiment, you can count me in.”

“Gonta thinks it’s a wonderful idea! If he can become an idol with friends, it’ll be much more fun than being on his own!” This one was much too pure for his own sake.

“I don’t have any reason to refuse,” Amami said. “I’m not super desperate to become a star, so even if things don’t work out I’ll be fine.”

“If everyone agrees, then I’ll roll with it,” Hoshi concluded, without much enthusiasm but it didn’t seem like he was forcing himself.

“What about you, Ouma-kun?” Saihara’s expression couldn’t be called anything but hopeful, and it was making Ouma want to just say ‘sure’, but forcing himself to do that was harder than he thought.

“I…”

“Can’t you see that he doesn’t even want to be here, Shuuichi?” Momota interrupted him.

_I want to call him Shuuichi too._

“Don’t answer for him, Momota-kun.”

“But he clearly hates the rest of us. Especially me,” he continued. “He spent who knows how much time trying to make fun of me!”

_I don’t hate you. Any of you. Even if you’re annoying sometimes._

That’s what he wanted to say, but it ended up like always.

“Aaah, if you don’t want me here so much, just say so, Momota-chan. I get it, you’re jealous of me and my beloved Saihara-chan being so close, but no need to be mean!”

“You are the mean one, Ouma.”

“Is that so…” It was kind of hard to pretend, so… “Wuaaah, Momota-chan is bullying me, Saihara-chan!”

“Will you two ever stop…” Amami muttered. “Momota-kun, you’re just scaring him away…”

“No, that’s totally understandable, Momota-chan is jealous and hates me, so I’ll leave before he gets mad at me. Bye!”

“Wait, Ouma-kun!”

Another great escape. It seemed like it was never going to end.

Even though  he just wanted to say ‘yes’.

***

Amami left the room a few hours earlier, saying he was going to practice dancing with Shinguuji and Gonta, and leaving the frustrated Ouma alone and without anything to do.

He really wanted to just go to Saihara and tell him he was going to join his stupid band, but after all of that it would just hurt his pride even more. He couldn’t do it when everyone just saw him as a hateful brat.

So, he ended up sitting on the floor and trying to write, but continuing to stab the page with his pen instead. _Stupid Momota-chan. Stupid Saihara-chan. Stupid me._

It wasn’t a surprise he couldn’t write anything again, despite having written so many songs with Saihara’s help. If he wasted this chance, it would be the end for him…

And while he was stabbing the notebook, someone knocked on the door.

“Fuck off, Amami-chan, you should’ve taken the key with you!”

The knocking on the door got louder.

“For fucks sake…” Ouma finally forced himself to stand up and open it. “What do you… Oh,” he uttered before attempting to close it again but meeting an obstacle in the form of someone’s foot. “W-What the hell, Momota-chan!?”

“Look, I’m not here to argue with you, I’m here to apologize!”

“What the fuck, Momota-chan!”

“I’m not as much of an asshole as you think! If Shuuichi likes you, then there must be something good about you, so I asked other people!”

“And what did they say?”

“Well, Harumaki still wants to kill you, but… Akamatsu thinks you deserve a chance, Amami thinks you’re okay, and Angie for some reason says you’re really fun, so… I want to understand why! It seems like many more people than just Shuuichi want to be your friends, so I don’t want to be an asshole and came to say I’m sorry!”

“What the fuck, Momota-chan!”

“Why do you keep saying this?!”

“Because I can’t believe this, and you’re too dumb to be pulling a prank on me!”

“I came to apologize and this is what I get?!”

“What else did you expect!”

“You to join Shuuichi’s idol group! It seems to be something really important to him, so just agree!”

“I can’t believe this just happened… This is unreal…” He sighed, barely stopping himself from closing the door and sliding down it to the floor. It was such a perfect opportunity. He had to take it or else…

“So? What will you do?”

But first he had to do his last big prank before settling down. Probably not the last ever, but anyway.

“You’ll see, Momota-chan,” Ouma said. “Give me half an hour.”

“For what?”

“I just said you’ll see! Now, leave!” He commanded, and when Momota moved his foot he closed the door before he could say anything.

The next step was rushing to his collection of songs he recorded after starting that school. He scattered the CDs around, looking through them and finally picking one from before he befriended Saihara and one from after.

And then he ran out of the room, not even locking it, charging towards the part of the dorms where the girls from their year had their rooms.

He didn’t even have to waste time on looking for the people he needed. Luck seemed to be in his favor that day, as he ran into Iruma and Angie, talking with each other, as soon as he entered the right corridor.

“Angie-chan! Ugly slut! I need you to help me, right not, immediately!” He said, not even caring about interrupting them.

“Hah? And why should I help you, Twinkma?” Iruma raised her brow.

“Sure, Angie can help Kokichi, no problem!” The other girl replied cheerfully.

“Hey, you could at least take my side!”

“There’s no time for that! Angie-chan, Iruma-chan, I’ll tell you a big secret if you help me,” Ouma insisted. “Something almost nobody at this school knows _yet!”_

“If you think I’m this easy and you can buy me like this…” Iruma started. “…then you’re totally right, what is it, you little bitch boy?”

“Yahoo, we’re getting to be a part of something big, Miu!”

A few minutes later they were sitting in the room Iruma and Angie were sharing, listening to the two songs Ouma selected. One of the girls was still smiling, one seemed annoyed.

“What does this have to so with anything, you little shit?” Iruma asked. “Where is the big secret?”

“Just give me a moment to explain everything, you stupid bitch. First, which one do you like more?”

“Neither.”

“Angie liked the second one! It seems like Kokichi put a lot of heart into it. Even God likes it!” Angie exclaimed.

“Figures, it’s the one I wrote while being an idiot in love,” he muttered, already hearing Iruma gasp. “Iruma-chan, if this information leaves this room I will tell everyone you’re into robot anime girls and would probably fuck that chick from Persona 3.”

“W-Wait, how do you know that!?”

“I follow your private twitter account. MiuStan69? It’s me, but you have no proof that it’s me, and I just needed some blackmail material in case it was necessary. I have screenshots, so don’t try anything.”

“You’re the worst… You’re the absolutely fucking worst…” She looked as if she was on the verge of tears. “I wouldn’t even tell anyone, I don’t give a shit who you have hots for…”

“It’s Saihara-chan, I’m madly in love with him. I would kill for him and help him hide the body if he killed anyone,” he explained, despite nobody asking, and Iruma gasped again. “Remember, no telling him or the world will see your wet fantasies about robot chicks.”

“Fine, fine, I understood! Was this the secret then?!”

“No, I have something better. Something better that you’ll help me spread to the whole school.”

“Come on, Kokichi, let us finally know!”

“Sure! Remember that time when I said I’m the great idol Ouma Shoukichi’s talentless twin brother?”

“We sure do, you little shit.”

“It was a big lie all along! I’m actually him. It’s me. I’m the great idol, and I’ve always been.”

“HOLT SHIT-“

“Quiet, Iruma-chan, I have an idea for a big reveal, and it’s not by letting you scream about it.”

“Ahaha, Angie kind of sensed that! She wasn’t sure, but Kokichi had the aura of an experienced person! It’s like he’s seen it all before and was bored most of time.”

“Because that was literally it. Anyway! Time to begin the best part of the plan! Get ready for some trouble, Iruma-chan, Angie-chan, because it might not end totally well for us.”

***

“What are you thinking right now? That you’re a genius? You’re not. This is fucking stupid,” Iruma muttered, as their watched Angie knock on the door of the school broadcasting room from behind the corner. “Taking over the broadcasting system to make an announcement? You really are a shitty brat.”

“But you’re still helping me, nishishi.”

“First of all, you let me know into whose pants you want to get. Second, you’re blackmailing me. Third, this is fucking funny and I want to see how it turns out.”

“Fair enough.”

After a moment someone opened the door to Angie. It was definitely a student, maybe someone from the broadcasting club, but Ouma never cared enough to remember their face.

“What is it…?”

“Ah, hello!” She began cheerfully. “Angie hopes you’re having a nice day! She was sent here by Yukizome-san, who told her to bring you to her. Angie has no idea what is the reason though, sorry!”

“It’s okay, it can’t be anything serious…”

And it wasn’t. It was an excuse they came up with a moment ago to drag whoever would be inside out of the room… It seemed to work, so it wasn’t that stupid.

Angie showed them a peace sign when she and her victim passed them in the corridor, signaling then they had freedom of action now, so Ouma and Iruma rushed towards the unlocked broadcasting room door.

“Quick, Iruma-chan, we don’t know how much time we have before we get caught. Just make sure it works and everyone in this school can hear me!” He commanded, searching for the microphone.

“Easy to say, you little shit, it’s my first time having to operate something like this?”

“Weren’t you supposed to be a genius? Figure it out, Iruma-chan!”

“I will! I’m working on it! Oh, so this works like this… Nice! Just lemme… Okay, we’re good!”

“Already!? I might change my opinion of you, Iruma-chan!”

“Shut up! Or no, speak to the mike!”

“Huh? Right, of course! Wait, you mean right now?!”

“The school is already listening, shithead!”

“Excellent!” He said to cover his nervousness and took a deep breath before speaking up again. “Hello, this is everyone’s favorite idol, Ouma Kokichi talking! Or maybe rather, Ouma Shoukichi! Though that one was never a real name, sorry, you got fooled! Nishishi, I’m a liar though, don’t feel bad if you didn’t realize. As you know, I’m already suuuuper popular as a solo artist, but I got bored of that! So, since today I’m officially ditching my solo career and joining a group! My next song is going to be a duet with Momota-chan, called “I don’t hate you but you’re still a moron”, lyrics by yours truly. For now enjoy one of my favorite songs created here, and special thanks to Saihara-chan, love you! Now, Iruma-chan, play the song.”

“Holy balls… You really went all out…” Love you”, damn… You think he’s gonna take you seriously?” Iruma asked after she put the music on and muted the mike.

“Absolutely not! But that’s not the point, because sooner or later, I always get what I want,” Ouma replied with a grin. “I’m good at waiting.”

“I have no idea what you’re going to wait for…” Another voice joined them. “But first you’re going to have to deal with me!”

“Y-Yukizome-san!?” Iruma let out a high-pitched squeal. “It’s not my fault, the shithead forced me!”

“I don’t really care!” The teacher replied with a frown. “All three of you are guilty!”

“Three? So Angie…”

“Sorry, Kokichi, Angie couldn’t run away like you told her! We’re in this together after all!” The white-haired girl popped up from behind Yukizome and waved at them.

“What a fucking dumbass…” Iruma sighed.

“And now, I’m taking you to the headmaster’s office to discuss your punishment,” the woman exclaimed, grabbing them by their wrists and dragging out of the room, even though they weren’t resisting.

_Still, worth it._

“Ouma-kun!” 

On the other side of the corridor, Saihara appeared, breathing heavily. He probably ran all the way there after hearing the announcement.

“Sorry, Saihara-chan, I have to pay for my crimes right now, but I hope to invite you for a date later!” Ouma shouted to him, waving his hand.

“Just… Thank you! For agreeing!” Saihara yelled back. “I promise, you won’t regret it!”

“You better keep that promise!” He replied one last time before he was dragged out of his sight. Well, it’s not like he intended on regretting it.

It was the one decision he wasn’t going to regret, and he knew it even back then.

***

A lot of time has passed since then. The idol group turned out to be a successful project, so they named it TWILIGHT☆MYSTERY and continued it. They debuted not long after that and soon Ouma was at the top again, but this time he wasn’t alone and his rivalry with Momota became one of their trademarks. Then the initial members were joined by the idol robot, Kiibo, and Ouma’s banter with him became another one. Saihara was the one caring for them from behind the scenes, and Ouma was still in love with him and using him as his motivation.

And some time ago they because a couple. It still felt a bit unreal, but… it was definitely real.

“…Kokichi…? Why are you awake so early…?”

“Plotting a prank, nishishi.”

“Again? It’s been only two days…”

Ouma could hear the sheets shifting, then some footsteps on the floor, before someone finally settled on the floor next to him. Saihara rested his head against Ouma’s shoulder and took one of his hands in his, entwining their fingers and successfully distracting him from the notebook.

“You lied. I knew it,” he said.

“Nishishi, how did you know?”

“I was watching you for a moment before speaking up. You don’t smile like that when planning on ruining someone’s day,” Saihara commented warmly, squeezing his hand.

“Ah, got me here. Just thinking about how much I love my beautiful, yet clingy boyfriend!”

“Now it’s me who’s clingy…?”

“You’ve always been the one, Shuuichi!” Ouma faked a frown and shoved the notebook aside, turning to Saihara, and… throwing himself at him so they both ended up lying on the carpet.

“Are you trying to prove that your own words were wrong?” Saihara laughed, while Ouma raised on his elbows so he could look at him.

“Nope, not this time! We’re both pretty damn clingy. Will I get a morning kiss?”

“If you ask, I can’t really refuse…”

“You never do,” Ouma managed to say before he got silenced by a pair of lips which’s taste he already knew so well. He tried to respond to the kiss, but it ended all too soon. “Eh? That’s all? Stingy!”

“And who’s clingy now…?”

“Me! Kiss me, hug me, spoil me! Right now!”

“Right here, on the floor…?”

“Well, if you want to pick me up bridal-style, I won’t complain!”

Ouma couldn’t say his whole life was easy, because no matter what, half of the time he spend in that hellish school was still one of the hardest moments he experienced… But if this was the reward, he wasn’t going to complain.

“Hey, Saihara-chan, remember that one time at school when… no, remember just any time at school when I almost dropped out and stayed only because of you?”

“Huh? Why are you recalling that now?”

"No reason, but I really love you, and I hated that place!"

Maybe he was going to complain just a little bit.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I should've probably reread MHS before writing this at all but I hope I didn't mix anything up... But kudos to Iruma, she kept her promise and didn't spill anything until MHS, and she knew much more than she let on. 
> 
> If you read it, thank you!!


End file.
